KEEP RUNNING SAM


In the early evening of Friday April 13th a friend of mine died.  His name was Ken and he was only 43, much too young to leave this world.  In the summer of 2010 he was diagnosed with ALS.  On the day he left this world he was ready to go.  His body was tired even though his mind was filled with work to be done and information to be shared.  He had the most loving heart and was always willing to listen, to share whatever he had be it knowledge or books or money or food.   Today there was a celebration of his life in the Peace Park and there were so many people there whose life he had touched in some way.   People shared their stories about Ken while the rest of us either smiled or laughed or shed tears.  We will all miss his physical presence but know that his spirit is still with us and that wherever he is it is a better place because he is there.  I am so grateful for the gift of being able to call him friend and I will carry him in my heart always.

Early on the day Ken died, his stepmother came to visit me.  I have been home for five weeks now following hip replacement surgery so it was easier for her to come here than me to go to Ken's home.  She told me that that morning before coming here she had asked Ken if he had a message for me.  He could barely speak at that time, the ASL finally taking away his voice.  He whispered "tell her to keep running".  I didn't really understand the message at first.  I'm not a runner although I have tried several times to get into jogging but that never lasted for any real length of time.  I like to walk truthfully speaking at a slow pace so I can check out the world around me, smell everything that is in the air, and listen to the sounds of mother nature.  So the message left me stumped to say the least.

I sat with this message determined to figure out what he meant.  It's that determination that usually takes me, and perhaps others, into their head/mind and away from the heart.  I learned long ago that the heart knows the answer, it is the place to live, to know our truths, to feel at peace with ourselves, with who we are.  So I let it go, this need to understand the message, to just accept it, and in doing so I understood what Ken was telling me.  

Ken was one of those people you could share anything with without fear of judgement.  I use to talk to him about dreams I had, about what I wanted to do.  Ken would listen to the dreams and then he would listen to my fears.  He would encourage me to not be afraid, to let go of the fear of thinking I wasn't capable of doing the things I want.  The message wasn't to keep running from my fears it was to keep running in the direction of my dreams, of doing what feels right for me at this time of my life.  His message was to not waste time in a place of fear, to not waste a precious moment of life because like him it could be taken away when we don't expect.

So today I want to honour my friend Ken and myself.  This blog is a huge step for me, to put myself out there, to speak from my heart, to share my dreams and aspirations, my art and my stories.   I remember doing a lesson in a group I belonged to called Heartrepreneurs.  I asked people to close their eyes and think about when their story started.   I had chosen this idea because I believe that our stories don't always start when we were born but instead when we choose to start living our life, our dreams.   I also believe that we can having many starts, times when we re-write our story, to change our dream to what fits now.

So I'm running Ken.  Watch for me.  My story starts now.