THIS JOURNEY CALLED LIFE, THIS JOURNEY CALLED DEATH

I have to admit it I watch television.  I was going to start with "I hate to admit it" but then I changed my mind because I don't hate to admit it because it's the truth.   Recently a new show started called "The Big C".  It's about a woman who has been diagnosed with cancer and she is going to die.  She chooses not to tell her family when she finds out.  Instead she decides to have a pool put in their tiny backyard so she can teach her teenage son how to do the banana split dive.  One day she decides to burn the couch she has always hated.  Her family thinks she is going crazy and perhaps that what impending death does to us.   

Anyway, the show got me thinking about how I would react to this diagnosis, about what I would do, want to do, hope to do.   Time can be so fleeting and the time we take for granted can be gone in a flash.   What about my own stories, about all the pieces of my life that no one will know about.  Will they understand the significance of some treasure I have held on to for so long?  What about all those photographs I have.  Will my family be left like I was after the death of my parents with all these images and no story.  I try hard to organize but it is not my forte truthfully speaking.   I use to scrapbook telling stories about the pictures but I haven't done that in quite a while.   Something to put on my to do list obviously.  

I thought about my list of questions I have that I would ask people I was working with to help them tell their stories.   It seemed appropriate that since the subject of the show is death that the question I would want to ask is:  How do you feel about death, about dying?  The answer is my truth and will, no doubt, differ from yours.    

Death to me is part of life, another part of this incredible journey that we are on.   It's not the end of who we are, of our essence, our spirit.  Although we may not be here physically we are here spiritually.  I am not sure what I believe about the after life but I do believe that there is something else for all of us whether we become angels or guardians or return here in another form.   I believe that we should be able to die with dignity.   When we feel we have had enough, that we can no longer continue to be in our bodies, our current form,  we should be able to leave this world when we are ready.  Death doesn't always come when we think it should like when we grow old.    Sometimes it comes long before we are ready.  Death can be a reminder to live life, to enjoy every moment, to love and to laugh, to follow our dreams and to be grateful for all that we have, for every breath.   I believe that we should celebrate death the same way we celebrate life.   Death is inevitable for each of us. 


I really don't like to think about dying, in fact in my lifetime I have sometimes feared death.  I don't why but that fear has never stopped me from living life.   I've sat with people as they died and felt such honor to be there with them.  Maybe for me the fear is the unknown of what death will be like.  I pray I won't be alone yet at the same time I don't want to be with people who are there simply because it is their job.    I want to die at home if at all possible yet I don't want to put my family or loved ones through emotional pain as they watch me leave this world for whatever is next.  I sometimes fear pain, that for whatever reason death may not come easy.  I don't want to be alone like my dad.   I don't want to be comatose for a week like my mother, someone watching and wondering if the next breath will be the last one.   I want to think I will be brave, take that last breath with dignity and grace,  and with some found strength manage a smile, look up and say I Love You.   In the end I would want to know that I had lived life fully, followed my dreams, and was ready for whatever was next.  
  

                                
                                       What are your feelings about death and dying?